Not only does Upper Deck sue Upper Deck.

Upper Deck, Upper Deck, Upper Deck, at this point, I think you’re trying to help me out. It’s usually tough getting people interested in the legal ramifications of products, or to pay attention to what is going on in lawsuits. I mean, if I had to write about a breach of a fiduciary duty that the head of a European company owed to its shareholders, nobody would want to read that.

But you are really helping me out. First thing you do, you sue yourself. OK, maybe it’s more of Upper Deck (Europe) v. Upper Deck (America). Regardless, it looks schizophrenic. Then you throw in counterclaims involving how someone stole a company from someone impaired by alcohol and prescription drug abuse, and, voilà, a fiduciary duty claim looks a whole lot sexier.

Then you have one of the parties taunt the other by saying, "If you want to sue me, you need to sue my parent corporation and CEO too." Basically, a “Nyah, nyah, you can’t sue me unless you sue my mom, too.”

That leads us to the latest developments, where Upper Deck (America) takes the European Upper Deck version’s (UDI) taunt as a dare and files suit against UDI’s parent (Blue Ocean Entertainment—its mom, if you will) and Nico Blauw (the CEO of UDI). Then you yet again raise the stakes and sue--wait for it--Nico Blauw’s wife, Larissa.

Seriously. The amended complaint alleges that, “Nico and Larissa Blauw converted UDI company funds for their own personal use, at the expense of UDI’s stakeholders.”

Welcome to the Upper Deck family, Larissa. Lawsuits are apparently a right of passage.

I can’t wait until you start suing children too. Maybe Grandma needs to be in on the action.

And if it was at all unclear from the last filings, the Upper Deck America makes it clear what Nico Blauw did wrong, “Also, Mr. Blauw, UDI’s Chief Executive Officer (“CEO”) and Director, repeatedly breached the fiduciary duties he owed to UDI and its shareholders and ran UDI into the ground through a pattern of both intentional and negligent mismanagement.”

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