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> Having a bad day

aceecards
post Oct 24 2007, 10:20 AM
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Im going to chime in here as a Parent of 2 girls!

Respect and maturity, disobeying orders, Punishment, discipline.. A childs actions and a parents reaction have all been discussed at length here.

I can tell you from my experiences as both a father and a child that there is never a rhyme or reason to the action/reaction thing.

I handle bigger situations with my children better than little annoying things like turn off the TV.

The bigger situations require a deep breath, some thought and planning..

The little situations like cardcrazes just annoy me and require only impulse instant reaction... If I had to take a deep breath and think about it, i kind of feel I would be no different than my girls retorting "wait a minute!"

Now I dont classify that as immaturity or inability to control my temper.. could I react differently yes but on either side of the fence from spanking to time out or some other fitting punishment.. but regardless I am going to get "instant gratification" for their defiance, disobeying.. whatever you wanna classify it as.

Ruling by fear.. Ha..If children were indeed ruled by fear of action/reaction then maybe there would be a heckuva lot less heinous crimes committed by todays youth. An eye for an eye punishment system instilled by parents would definetly deter some of todays malcontents. I for one do not spare the rod, BUT.. to this date my girls have never given me a reason to actually use it!

CardCraze's father didnt rule by fear.. He simply got "instant results" in another form for his son's lack of performance!

I will not criticize another parents method as long as it is effective, seeing cardcraze's post here further supports the effectiveness of his decision!

A little less psychology in my world!

We have another line in my house that would better serve as a response to cardcraze..

Boy, Save the drama for your mama..

trevor, you posting this here is the drama.. It is not our sympathy or support you need.. you just simply wanted some attention! Now that is the correct analysis in psychological terms , Tom!! laugh.gif




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post Oct 24 2007, 10:22 AM
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post Oct 24 2007, 10:25 AM
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it happens to all of us

remember a while back when my mom took all my mail and hid it?

yeah that's cuz I was supposed to stop trading laugh.gif

now if issues come i's cuz I'm never home when she's home and she always has the mail in her car laugh.gif


I've had cards thrown away before to. The funniest thing about this thread is when he started crying about retail but his mom bids on like $100's of $$ worth of Derek Hagan cards for him.

For most of my life I've done stuff around the house and never gotten any money

I work for my own $$ at a real job
stop crying

ok I'm done

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post Oct 24 2007, 10:29 AM
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QUOTE(aceecards @ Oct 24 2007, 11:20 AM)
Now that is the correct analysis in psychological terms , Tom!! laugh.gif
*



The little situations like cardcrazes just annoy me and require only impulse instant reaction...
THIS IS WHAT WE CALL CONTRADICTORY FIGHT OR FLIGHT RESPONSE


Now I dont classify that as immaturity or inability to control my temper...
THE IMPULSE IS BASED ON THE PUNISHMENT FITTING THE CRIME. IF ITS SEVERE, A SEVERE REACTION MIGHT BE NECESSARY. HIS DEFIANCE OVER A VIDEO GAME WAS NOT SEVERE.

but regardless I am going to get "instant gratification" for their defiance, disobeying.. whatever you wanna classify it as.
IF YOU NEED TO GET INSTANT GRATIFICATION, STOP BUYING UPPER DECK wink.gif

Your analysis is far too personally based Dr. Emerick. Can never have an accurate psychological analysis when you base it on personal experience. No matter how unbiased you think you can be, you cant. Its human nature.


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post Oct 24 2007, 10:32 AM
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Tom,

How many children do you have? unsure.gif

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post Oct 24 2007, 10:37 AM
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just a thought

If I were his dad, or if my stepdad or father were his dad, the xbox would have been trashed, forget cards, that xbox would have been ripped out of the wall.

If you can't learn the lesson now, you never will. It will just get worse

wait till you have a job and your boss tells you to do something and you say no.......FIRED. Wait till your in college and your professor tells you to turn in your project for the semester in on a certain day and you tell him no or straight up don't do it........yeah that would be an F




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post Oct 24 2007, 10:39 AM
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QUOTE(bob_TCC @ Oct 24 2007, 11:32 AM)
Tom,

How many children do you have?  unsure.gif

-Bob
*



Again Bob, I am unbiased as I can view many different children of several different backgrounds and be impartial as none of them are mine. I base my information on documented fact and tested/proven analysis. I dont base my thoughts and actions on what 1 or 2 kids that I see every day and have obligations to.

I dont need to HAVE a child to know how to deal with one. I have more children's futures hanging in the balance of decisions that I make for them and their families in 1 week than most people will in a lifetime.

My experience in the field is where I get my information. Having personally been responsible for getting over 300 children out of bad home situations, into better ones and into High School and or College.

Asking me how many children I have, seeming to imply that I dont know what I am talking about would be like me asking you where your PhD in Psychology came from. I am sharing my experience and beliefs. I am sharing what I know and how I feel. People dont have to agree. I have a pretty extensive background in this field and in the studies associated with it.


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post Oct 24 2007, 10:42 AM
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oh man, I wanted to see Bobs reply, but I gotta get to work.
Nice chatting this over folks. Maybe we can get back to it later.
have a good one!
Tom


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post Oct 24 2007, 10:44 AM
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QUOTE
My experience in the field is where I get my information. Having personally been responsible for getting over 300 children out of bad home situations, into better ones and into High School and or College.


what DO you do, I thought you were like a doctor but then someone said you work for the goverment or CIA or something maybe capturing Bin Laden IDK laugh.gif


QUOTE
Asking me how many children I have, seeming to imply that I dont know what I am talking about would be like me asking you where your PhD in Psychology came from.


jawdrop.gif unsure.gif



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post Oct 24 2007, 10:45 AM
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QUOTE(baseballguy601 @ Oct 24 2007, 11:37 AM)
If you can't learn the lesson now, you never will. It will just get worse

wait till you have a job and your boss tells you to do something and you say no.......FIRED. Wait till your in college and your professor tells you to turn in your project for the semester in on a certain day and you tell him no or straight up don't do it........yeah that would be an F
*



Exactly.

Life is full of consequences to your actions - some are appropriate and some are not appropriate. However, the fact that some may not be appropriate does not provide an excuse for poor behavior on your part.

It's been said...

Treat others as you want to be treated.

Trevor seems to feel that he wasn't respected, but didn't show respect either. Would his cards be fine at this moment if he treated his Dad the same way that he wants to be treated?

By the way, after re-reading the initial post, I'm a little confused as to how some of the cards are "damaged" and some are "missing". I wonder what "missing" means...

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post Oct 24 2007, 10:49 AM
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maybe his father ate them laugh.gif


but in all seriousness.......he's crying about not being respected? He needs to understand that he doesn't deserve respect... and if He wants it from his dad he has to earn it ( It might start with doing what he says WHEN he says it)

he's a nobody, he's a child , and what he says is not important (my step dad said that to my sister once and she cried, but it made sense) he doesn't pay the bills or do anything (relatively) that needs to be done around the house. He puts his feet under the table and his head on the pillow and doesn't do anything to deserve it

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post Oct 24 2007, 10:53 AM
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QUOTE(HOFerAutoCollector @ Oct 24 2007, 11:39 AM)
I base my information on documented fact and tested/proven analysis. I dont base my thoughts and actions  on what 1 or 2 kids that I see every day and have obligations to.
*



No. In this example, you based your thoughts and comments on a post made by a 13-year-old boy at a trading card forum. With your extensive training, I would have hoped that you would have thought that an immediate reaction of referring to his Dad's action as "childish" and inappropriate might be a tad irresponsible - considering that you weren't able to perform your tested/proven analysis.

QUOTE(HOFerAutoCollector @ Oct 24 2007, 11:39 AM)
I dont need to HAVE a child to know how to deal with one.
*



This sort of seems like the marriage counselor who starts with, "I've never been married, but marriage..." Trust me... Until you've said I do, you don't have a clue! wink.gif

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post Oct 24 2007, 10:56 AM
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QUOTE(baseballguy601 @ Oct 24 2007, 11:49 AM)
but in all seriousness.......he's crying about not being respected? He needs to understand that he doesn't deserve respect... and if He wants it from his dad he has to earn it ( It might start with doing what he says WHEN he says it)

he's a nobody, he's a child , and what he says is not important (my step dad said that to my sister once and she cried, but it made sense) he doesn't pay the bills or do anything (relatively) that needs to be done around the house. He puts his feet under the table and his head on the pillow and doesn't do anything to deserve it
*



For the record, I completely disagree with just about all of this.

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post Oct 24 2007, 10:59 AM
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QUOTE(HOFerAutoCollector @ Oct 24 2007, 10:29 AM)
The little situations like cardcrazes just annoy me and require only impulse instant reaction...
THIS IS WHAT WE CALL CONTRADICTORY FIGHT OR FLIGHT RESPONSE
Now I dont classify that as immaturity or inability to control my temper...
THE IMPULSE IS BASED ON THE PUNISHMENT FITTING THE CRIME. IF ITS SEVERE, A SEVERE REACTION MIGHT BE NECESSARY. HIS DEFIANCE OVER A VIDEO GAME WAS NOT SEVERE.

but regardless I am going to get "instant gratification" for their defiance, disobeying.. whatever you wanna classify it as.
IF YOU NEED TO GET INSTANT GRATIFICATION, STOP BUYING UPPER DECK wink.gif

Your analysis is far too personally based Dr. Emerick. Can never have an accurate psychological analysis when you base it on personal experience. No matter how unbiased you think you can be, you cant. Its human nature.
*



Tom,

I am much like my father and a lot less like my mother in the ideaology of parenting and thank goodness for my kids behinds that I am.

My respect for my parents is immense. My fear of embarassing them is still immense to this day also, therefore why I still keep myself in line! laugh.gif
That is all I wish of my children, their respect and their effort!

I think if all children took my dad's advice , which he gave equally and often to my sister and I, to heart , the world would be a better place:

Always do what is right, no matter what the crowd is doing

and his most scary line..

Dont ever give me a reason to not want to take credit for you as my child!

WOW!! Think about that. That line kind of stuck with me forever like peanut butter to the roof of your mouth!

Now he might have told you this after a backhand to the face for "talking back" or disobeying him or this might have simply been a discussion when one of us had done something stupid like try to jump a car on a bicycle but either way it was very very effective Preaching!

My mom on the other hand had a couple of implements of destruction that we came to fear. A razor sharpening strap that was my great-grand fathers! and a nice 1" thick oak paddle that actually was cracked after it connected with my gluttomous maximous one too many times! ohmy.gif


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post Oct 24 2007, 11:14 AM
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QUOTE(bob_TCC @ Oct 24 2007, 11:53 AM)
No.  In this example, you based your thoughts and comments on a post made by a 13-year-old boy at a trading card forum.  With your extensive training, I would have hoped that you would have thought that an immediate reaction of referring to his Dad's action as "childish" and inappropriate might be a tad irresponsible - considering that you weren't able to perform your tested/proven analysis.
This sort of seems like the marriage counselor who starts with, "I've never been married, but marriage..."  Trust me...  Until you've said I do, you don't have a clue!  wink.gif

-Bob
*



To tell me that I dont have a clue about something shows you are contradicting yourself. didnt you just tell me that I was making a decision based on something that I didnt have all the facts about? Sounds like a little pot calling the kettle black there. You obviously are unaware of what i know. you are doing what you just accused me of doing.


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post Oct 24 2007, 11:26 AM
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QUOTE(HOFerAutoCollector @ Oct 24 2007, 12:14 PM)
To tell me that I dont have a clue about something shows you are contradicting yourself.  didnt you just tell me that I was making a decision based on something that I didnt have all the facts about? Sounds like a little pot calling the kettle black there. You obviously are unaware of what i know. you are doing what you just accused me of doing.
*



The point was simple...

Being married provides a unique perspective. Being a parent provides a unique perspective. All of the training in the world might even allow someone to understand something very well. However, that training still doesn't replace the value of having personal experience on the subject matter. wink.gif

Anyways, this "little pot" is going to move on to other things.

I certainly found value in trying to help a young member deal with life and understand the importance of controlling his own actions (e.g., being respectful of a parent). I don't see the same value in further debating anyone's "credentials" on the subject, whether they be parents, non-parents or PhDs.

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post Oct 24 2007, 11:30 AM
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QUOTE(HOFerAutoCollector @ Oct 24 2007, 12:14 PM)
Man I love the fact I can post here from my PDA
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what kind do you have?



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post Oct 24 2007, 11:31 AM
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QUOTE(bob_TCC @ Oct 24 2007, 12:26 PM)
The point was simple...

Being married provides a unique perspective.  Being a parent provides a unique perspective.  All of the training in the world might even allow someone to understand something very well.  However, that training still doesn't replace the value of having personal experience on the subject matter.  wink.gif

Anyways, this "little pot" is going to move on to other things.

I certainly found value in trying to help a young member deal with life and understand the importance of controlling his own actions (e.g., being respectful of a parent).  I don't see the same value in further debating anyone's "credentials" on the subject, whether they be parents, non-parents or PhDs.

-Bob
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Being a parent provides a biased perspective. just like you kid is better than any other, they are better looking than any other and that they are more special. thats your job as a parent. I could do more good than a parent telling most kids that same information because the kids EXPECT their parents to say that kind of thing.

I have personal experience with many more subjects. I know more about kids than their parents do because I have a greater level of trust from the kids than they have in their parents. I am unbiased and impartial. THAT is what gives me an edge over a parent. I see kids for what they are and try not to see them for what they could be.


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HOFerAutoCollector
post Oct 24 2007, 11:32 AM
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QUOTE(baseballguy601 @ Oct 24 2007, 12:30 PM)
what kind do you have?
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the new Q9. bigger buttons than a Q and a nicer screen. Lets me use the new Windows apps too. I like the fact I can beam hand written notes to my laptop.


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post Oct 24 2007, 11:39 AM
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QUOTE(HOFerAutoCollector @ Oct 24 2007, 12:31 PM)
Being a parent provides a biased perspective. just like you kid is better than any other, they are better looking than any other and that they are more special. thats your job as a parent.
*



Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. sad.gif

Oh well. Again, I'll see everyone around the Collector Zone. wink.gif

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