Outline · Standard · [ Linear+ ] Things Overheard at the Shop......2012......, New Location.....Same Crazy People.....

[dodgerblue38501]

Each year for the last 3 or 4 years I have started a thread in this very forum on this site outlining the often times ridiculous, insane, outlandish, and down right crazy things that customers have said at my shop. There have been some real doozies over the years. Many of these encounters have left me with a look of....... Others have provided us all with hours of entertainment. There have been tall tales of safety deposit boxes filled to the brim with autographed Babe Ruth rookie cards and other rare treasures. There have been many silly questions that have proven that while the customer may always be right, they often times still have no idea what they are talking about. These stories are meant to give everyone a chuckle and even more, a look inside the things that dealers have to go through on a daily basis. For every good solid educated customer that knows sports and sports collectibles, there are 10 that have no idea if a football is pumped or stuffed but who are more than happy to talk to you about everything and anything. Mark Twain once said, "I prefer to remain silent and appear to be a fool, than to open my mouth and remove all doubt". I'll be honest, I don't know anything about how to fly an airplane, so you won't catch me having a conversation about my piloting skills. Still, some of these customers relish the opportunity to educate me about the world of sports collectibles. Luckily, I have learned a lot in my 25 years in the hobby, but I know I still have a lot to learn If you are new to this site and haven't followed the saga, I linked the past threads below. Now its time to sit back and enjoy the latest installment of Things Overheard at the Shop.......2012 edition.

Things Overheard at the Shop.....2009

Things Overheard at the Shop.....2010

Things Overheard at the Shop.....2011


Two weeks ago I relocated my shop to a new mall that was recently renovated and reopened after being empty for the past 7 or 8 years. This place is right on the very busy I-40 corridor between Nashville and Knoxville. The location could not be more perfect. Local traffic studies put thousands of cars per day passing by this area. I already love it. My previous location was out of the way and I had to work non-stop to establish myself and build up a client base. It's hard to believe but I made it work at that location for 10 years !!! I had been ready to make the move to a better spot for years now, it just had to be the right opportunity and the right situation. I got a U-Haul and a buddy to help me and we carefully loaded and unloaded my entire shop inventory all in one day. My new shop looks like a disaster zone behind the counter but the storefront is coming together nicely. The first two weekends at the new location have been awesome. I have already met more knowledgeable sports fans in two weeks there than I did in 10 years at the other place. The 2 locations are only about 11 miles apart but they are like different worlds. Nonetheless, I still have met some folks that will no doubt provide me with lots of material for this thread in the coming months. The first 2 memorable encounters from my first 2 weeks are outlined below. Read at your own risk. Once you start reading, there's no turning back


My very first weekend at my new location came and went without much of the strange and unusual encounters that I had become accustomed to at my previous locale. Sunday evening just before closing time, a guy about my age came in walking with a cane. I greeted him and we exchanged hellos. He seemed like a fairly normal guy. Surely, he wouldn't ruin my perfect game? He wouldn't spoil my shutout this close to end of the business day? I had made it through my grand opening with only positive experiences. No crazy stories or tall tales or ridiculous questions. My high school English teacher had a saying, "If it seems to good to be true, hey baby, it ain't true!" I should have known my streak would come to an end sooner rather than later. The guy looked around and then it began....."Do you have any Michael Jordan cards?" he asked. "I sure do. What type cards are you looking for?" I questioned. "I have a card of his and I'm not sure what it is worth" he continued. "I have never seen another one like it" he affirmed. My mind began racing, oh boy, we are about to go off the tracks, I just know it. "It is the one where he is dunking the ball" he stated with a straight face. There it is folks! I knew it was coming! This guy has the card where Michael Jordan is pictured dunking the basketball. You know Jordan rarely did that, so this MUST be valuable! "I think it is from 1989" he continued. "I would just have to see it and then I could give you an idea of what it might be worth" I replied. "It is put up" he nodded. "I've got it in my safe with my rare Emmitt Smith gold card" he said. "Do you know what that Emmitt card might be worth?" he asked. "It is 14 karat gold" he continued. "It is the one that shows him running with the football" he confirmed. Oh no he didn't! There it is again! I knew it! Emmitt only made a living running the football. Why would he ever be pictured on a trading card doing such a crazy thing? "I would just need to see that one too" I said filled with a familiar feeling of deja vu. The guy poked around for a few more minutes. He may have mumbled some other things but by that time I was tuned out. He shuffled off and I thanked him for coming by. Mostly I was just thankful for his contribution to this thread as the very first entry of 2012 !!!

Last weekend a couple teenagers came in. They were blown away by each and every item they saw. They were filled with the usual questions......"Do you buy cards?", "Are these autographs really signed?", "Is this card $10 or $5 because it has 2 prices on it?" You know the usual stuff One of the kids who had a nice set of Bama Bangs covering half of his face, declared that he loved the game of basketball. Before you know it that had turned into a game of 50 questions, all of which began with, "Do you have any cards of (insert basketball player here) ?" After showing the kid my selection of base, inserts, RCs, and GUs of every player he asked about, he was ready to make a purchase. You see this kid had wasted a good 2 hours of my time and now he was about to reward me with.......$2.00........in dimes and nickels. I could tell from our conversation that he knew very little about basketball and even less about cards but he was determined to spend his $2.00 in change and he was prepared to go ask his mother for as much as another $1.00 if necessary. His sidekick was of the same ilk. Very little knowledge about sports or cards or life in general. He disappeared for a few minutes and returned to ask the question of the day....."Do you have any cards of Mickey Rooney?" Now I was without a shadow of a doubt certain that he had no interest in any Donruss Americana cards so I assumed that he was perhaps looking for another Mickey that some sports fans may have heard of. "You mean Mickey Mantle?" I asked. "I don't know his name. My mom said he was some famous baseball player or something." "I'm sure she meant Mickey Mantle" I affirmed as I showed him a stack of modern Mantle base and inserts. "I'll be right back the kid said" as he disappeared again. He then returned with $1.00 of his own, and be still my heart....he even had paper money! He picked out a Mantle base card and left. He then returned several more times asking each time for a different baseball legend whom his mother had told him about. All in all I made about $8.00 off these 2 kids for a couple hours of aggravation and frustration. The best part is that they both said they would be back every weekend. Maybe I can teach them a thing or two and they may even turn into solid members of our hobby. Who am I kidding, I hate to say it but I miss Packlets already.......

[ISLP55]

Whenever I have two prices on a product and someone asks "what is the price on this one"  I'll say "you can pay whichever one you want"  I have yet to have anyone pay the higher price.

[SFGiants]

As the weekend winds down I thought I would change it up a little bit and share some of the more amusing questions I have been asked this weekend. These are direct quotes. If you don't understand them, don't feel bad, I didn't either!

"Do you buy gold?"

"Do you have any baseball cards or only football?"

"Would you take $15 for this Jerry Rice autographed photo?"

"Could you use 100 St. Louis Cardinals lapel pins?"

"Do you have any real rookie cards?"

"Will you be getting any more of those hats?"

"Did you see which way Danny went?"

"I've got a complete set of 1991 Nascar cards. How much would they be worth?

"How much is Peyton Manning worth?"

"Do you have any Ricky Cheshire cards?"

"Are you going to open today?"

"Do you have any Jim Cena wrestling dolls?"

That's only a s mall sample folks. It's no wonder I'm loosing my mind. 

Thanks. This list was hilarious. I will have to remember to read it again on a bad day.

P.S. Ricky Cheshire?????????????????????????????????????

Jerad

[northicehero99]

Do you buy gold? I would have answered that one with a "yes, at $300 an ounce". If they ask you should answer.

Did you see which way Danny went? I would have crossed my arms across my chest pointing in the opposite directions and said "he went dat'a'way!"

[dodgerblue38501]

Whenever I have two prices on a product and someone asks "what is the price on this one"  I'll say "you can pay whichever one you want"  I have yet to have anyone pay the higher price.

Oh yeah. I've done that too. I actually had a guy pay full BV for a Ryan Howard RC last year rather than pay the discounted price. I think the problem stems from the fact that many people think that every card of a player should be priced the same. They don't understand that some cards are more rare that other cards and some are more desirable than others thus they are valued differently.

[dodgerblue38501]

It's not just at the shop that I get some "interesting" responses. As with any small business, I try to take advantage of all forms of advertising possible. There is a local classified ad site that has a "Collectibles & Antiques" category. You can post 10 free ads on the site. I usually keep a few ads on the site just to keep my name out there locally. This site has led to some sales for me over the years it has also led to some head scratching replies like the ones below.

I received the following 2 messages this morning both from the same person. They have not been altered or corrected in any way. What you see is what I got.....

AD #1: http://www.golsn.com/listings/collectibles...es/2842923.html

RESPONSE:

"hey do you have any threw duke of hazzard autographed item please let me know i would like to get this one but i do not have the 60 i could give 49 for it but i do not get paid and tell june 29 but am a big duke of hazzard fan so please let me know thank you and god bless"

AD #2 : http://www.golsn.com/listings/collectibles...es/2842937.html

"i am look for a couple pic they is super star if you have them please let me know how much and they are
Undertaker,triple h, hbk,kane,edge,and the hardy boys please let me know i am big fan of the undertaker and triple h and hbk and the hardy boys so please let me know if you have any thing"

If anyone out there is a current or former English teacher.........I apologize........your head probably just exploded.

I am still trying to formulate responses to these fine inquiries. If this person shows up at the shop this weekend, you know there will be an update!

[sschind]

It's not just at the shop that I get some "interesting" responses. As with any small business, I try to take advantage of all forms of advertising possible. There is a local classified ad site that has a "Collectibles & Antiques" category. You can post 10 free ads on the site. I usually keep a few ads on the site just to keep my name out there locally. This site has led to some sales for me over the years it has also led to some head scratching replies like the ones below.

I received the following 2 messages this morning both from the same person. They have not been altered or corrected in any way. What you see is what I got.....

AD #1: http://www.golsn.com/listings/collectibles...es/2842923.html

RESPONSE:

"hey do you have any threw duke of hazzard autographed item please let me know i would like to get this one but i do not have the 60 i could give 49 for it but i do not get paid and tell june 29 but am a big duke of hazzard fan so please let me know thank you and god bless"

AD #2 : http://www.golsn.com/listings/collectibles...es/2842937.html

"i am look for a couple pic they is super star if you have them please let me know how much and they are
Undertaker,triple h, hbk,kane,edge,and the hardy boys please let me know i am big fan of the undertaker and triple h and hbk and the hardy boys so please let me know if you have any thing"

If anyone out there is a current or former English teacher.........I apologize........your head probably just exploded. 

I am still trying to formulate responses to these fine inquiries. If this person shows up at the shop this weekend, you know there will be an update! 

I can only think of one appropriate (and one not so appropriate) response. The appropriate one would be a simple WHAT? The inappropriate one would have a couple more words attached but I will let imagination figure them out.

On a side note I never realized that Daisy Duke's head was so big compared to the rest of her body. Not that other parts of her body are small mind you. Maybe its just the hair or maybe its just that I never really looked at her head before.

[Gforce083]

A few more nuggets from this weekends action......
"Do you have any of the new mini bat display racks?"

    Yeah, they're in the back. Come on, I'll show ya!

"Do you have a shop somehwere or is this it?"

    Did you leave your sense somewhere, or is this it?

"Do you have any of those new cards?"

    Football? Baseball? Pokemon? Hock.... no, no I don't.

"Did you ever get any new Nascar hats in yet?"

    No, but I did get a fresh stock on these T-shirts in. http://www.zazzle.com/boring_tee_shirt-235693314741719640

"I didn't even know they made hockey cards."

    I don't even know what hockey is. Can you explain?

"Do you take cash?"

    Only in crisp $20 bills.

"Is this the place where my dad bought his cards?"

    You're dad is my best customer, he's always telling me funny stories about his idiot son.

"This card has $12 and $5 on it. What does that mean?"

    $17, but for you, I can settle for $5.

"Do you have any cards of that guy that played for Tech? He is supposed to be doing pretty good this year."

    Bam Morris?

[dodgerblue38501]

On a side note I never realized that Daisy Duke's head was so big compared to the rest of her body.  Not that other parts of her body are small mind you.  Maybe its just the hair or maybe its just that I never really looked at her head before.

That paragraph made my day! The feathered hair does make her head look bigger........if you make it up that far.

[dodgerblue38501]

Well folks. The person that responded to my online ads has responded again. Below is the uneditied gold I received this time around.

Question:

"hey there do you buy nascar jacket or any thing like or tna action figure please let me know"

My Response:

I may be interested in some TNA figures. Let me know what you have. Thank you.

Their Response:

"I have kevin nash ,desmond wolfe,amazing red. and i have brand new dvd it the best of raven never more"

My Response:

Im looking for current TNA stars only. Thank you.

Their Response:

"do you michael vick jersey or any thing like it"

My Response:

I have several Michael Vick football cards. They start at .25 each.
Thanks.

That was the last message. I can't wait to see what they have to say when they check in this week.

I did have one "customer" that got on my last nerve with yet another stupid question.

Customer: Do you have any Bryce Harper Rookie Cards for a couple bucks?

Me: That's a clown question bro.

[19th Century Indiana Jones]

Well, do you?

[dodgerblue38501]

Well, do you? 

Does anyone? I'd love to buy some for a "couple bucks". I swear my fuse is getting shorter with people lately. I don't know if it is the heat or the stupidity of some folks or a combination of the two. I think i need a break.

[19th Century Indiana Jones]

Maybe you need to cut back on the salt. I know I had to. And with all that stupidity around you, don't you feel like a wolf amongst sheep?

[dodgerblue38501]

Maybe you need to cut back on the salt. I know I had to. And with all that stupidity around you, don't you feel like a wolf amongst sheep?

Indy, sometimes I feel like the world is one giant tuxedo and I'm a lonely pair of white shoes.

[19th Century Indiana Jones]

Indy, sometimes I feel like the world is one giant tuxedo and I'm a lonely pair of white shoes.

Then you need to find this and all will be well.....

[dodgerblue38501]

Then you need to find this and all will be well.....

I could probably show up wearing that outfit at the shop and nobody would even flinch.

[dodgerblue38501]

Another weekend is almost in the books so I thought I would again share some close encounters of the strange kind.

A young guy in his mid to late 20s walked in to my shop yesterday and looked around for a few seconds and then asked, "Do you have any cards of my favorite player?" I waited for a few seconds awaiting the name of that player. The name never came. I was met with a blank stare for 30 seconds or so of uncomfortable silence. "I think we just sold the last one yesterday" I said with a warm smile. "Oh, well" replied the young man and away he went. I couldn't help but look at a regular customer of mine that was in the shop at the time as he chuckled at the whole scene I said, "THAT just happened".

A few other mind bending questions and remarks from this weekend's action:

"Do you accept traveler's checks?"

"Do you have any of the 2013 cards yet?"

"Do you have any hemp necklaces?"

"What did you do with all those coins you had?"

"Where is the guy that usually runs this place?"

"Have you ever had the BBQ here?"

"How much are Pogs worth these days?"

"I didn't know Peyton Manning played for Tennessee."

"I bet Peyton Manning's cards are not worth anything since he left the Colts."

"I've got 3 milk crates full of cards. How much would they be worth?"

"Did Barry Bonds retire?"

"Look at all that 'rasslin' stuff. I thought they outlawed it."

"Do you know where the sugar gliders are?"


And last but certaintly not least........

"Do you have change for a quarter?"

Oh the fun never ends........

[dodgerblue38501]

I haven't updated this thread in a little while. I've found that new material is hard to come by as I keep getting the same old tired questions. I am still constantly asked if I buy cards. I am also still constantly confronted by folks who get very excited to tell me about all the great items they own especially 24kt gold Dale Earnhardt cards and Pinnacle cards in a can. Below are a few of the more memorable encounters from recent weeks. Enjoy!

A lady came in last weekend and looked around then asked me, "Do you know anything about baseball cards?" After I assured her that I had at least heard of these things called baseball cards, she commenced with her story. Apparently she had acquired some cards in a trade for a colt. Not Johnny Unitas or Peyton Manning.....an actual horse! She continued on about all the cards she had....blah....blah....blah....she looked around and from time to time would say, "I have that one!" or "I think I have him!" as she peered cluelessly into my display cases. After realizing the cardboard fortune she possessed she left me with this, "I got all those cards and now I'm getting the colt back because the lady can't afford to feed it." I told her lucky for me my cards don't eat anything and I encouraged her to saddle up and bring me her awesome cards to check out before wishing her Happy Trails!

Continuing with the western theme, a guy in full western gear complete with boots, hat, string tie, and handlebar mustache sauntered in and began to look around. His wife was dressed in a frilly flowing dress straight out of a 1960s western movie. I had seen this guy several times at my previous location and had been approached by him more than once to tell the same story about a bunch of wrestling magazines that he wanted to sell. Now I admit, my memory isn't as sharp as it used to be, but I remember faces and especially remember the outlandish things these people say. I mean, if you see the same person EVERY week for 10 years, don't you think you would at least recognize them? I guess I am not very memorable because several times people have approached me to tell me the exact same story as they did a couple months prior not realizing that they have talked to me several times. Then again, given the level of intellect involved in most of their stories it shouldn't surprise me I guess. It does surprise me that some of these people can actually find their way home and back again to repeat their crazy tales. The guy looked around for a minute then asked, "How much is Dan Marino?" "What Dan Marino item are you asking about?" I wondered. "Rookie" the man said. "Marino's rookie card is from the 1984 Topps set. It has a book value of $60." I said. "I got one." the man firmly stated. There was a pause I assume waiting for me to applaud, high five him, or hug it out like bros. "Yeah, I have one down there in the display case labeled Football Rookie Cards." I answered. "What about Peyton Manning's rookie?" the man continued. "Peyton has probably 50 or more different rookie cards so it would depend on which one you have" I answered. "The main one" the man said. At this point any shred of patience I had for this ridiculously dressed individual went right out the window. "Manning's rookies range from about $10 to $1500 depending on what you have" I again continued. "Mine is from the 80s" he again stated with a poker face. "Peyton Manning was in grade school in the 80s. His first year in the NFL was 1998" I said with distain in my voice. This drew a few chuckles from some other regular customers who were browsing around the shop. The man's wife then chimed in and stated, "You really know your cards!" At that point my self esteem had never been higher. Receiving such a fine compliment from a couple of Bonanza stage hands really made my day. "Yes, I have been dealing with sports memorabilia most of my life" I affirmed to the lady. "Do you want to buy some wrestling magazines?" the man chimed in. "What era are they from?" I asked. "80s" the man deadpanned. "Most of my wrestling customers are younger kids and they only know the current stars. They don't know many of the guys from the past." I said. "That's a shame. That was back when they really 'rassled. They didn't fake it back then." the man said proving once and for all that he was in fact dilusional. "I may have to bring my cards in to sell them to you" the man said as he and his wife walked away. I can hardly wait for that money train to roll into the station. Of course, I'm sure we will have this conversation again several times before I ever see any cards from 'ol Tex.

And now for a few of the better quotes recently overheard at the shop......

"Do you take cash?"

"Kevin Durant played for the Sonics?"
followed by ........"I didn't know the Sonics moved to Oklahoma City."

"My dad found about 8 or 10 Steve McNair plaques on clearance at the Dollar Store. How much would they be worth?"
followed by........"Oh, I would never sell them."

"I'm looking for the new 2013 Fleer baseball cards."

"Would you be interested in an autographed baseball signed by Babe Ruth and Mickey Mantle?"

"Are you here all the time?"

"Do you have any old Pete McGee rookie cards?"

"Is Barry Bonds retired?"

"How much are those old Pee-knuckle cards in a can worth?"

"When did they start making hockey cards?"

[SFGiants]

I cant stop laughing LOLOLOLOLOL. Thanks!

Jerad

[sschind]

An interesting (maybe) story regarding those Pee-knuckle cards in a can. I collect Packers cards and several years ago I came across a set of cards featuring the Packers and cowboys called "Showdown in Titletown" It was an interesting set and cheap (my favorite kind) so I bought it for the Packers half and sent the cowboys cards out a year or so ago to a cowboys collector. A few weeks ago I was at our local flea market and this guy had about a two dozen of the Pinnacle inside Showdown in Titletown cans. I bought one for $3.00 just to have the unopened can. I knew they were a score product but never knew they were from the PI collection. Not worth a lot but now I have the can and the cards to display.

The guy had no idea what they were so I suggested that if he opened one can and actually showed people what was inside he may sell a few more cans. I don't know if he took my advice or not. I also don't know if the complete set (22 cards) were in each can or if you had to build it like any other pack.

Keep em coming. If our customers had any idea what we were saying about them behind their backs they would never return. It may seem mean but it's all in fun and they make it soooooooo easy.


Oh, and I'm guessing from your last few posts that Danny was successfully located?

[Kmart6nets]

"Do you take cash?"

Nahhhhhhhhhh I like to give the stuff away