Outline · [ Standard ] · Linear+ BASH your rival and win a prize!, OK...how cool does this sound?

[goskins]

Those of you who I have come to know realize that I love a good joke, whether it is about someone else or me. Therefore, I have decided to make my first contest be a fun one that should give everyone a lot of laughs.

Here's TCC rules:

1. We have zero tolerance for profanity. This includes "minor" swear words such as hell, etc. If it's a word that you don't want your child to use, please don't use it here.

2. We have zero tolerance for violent material.

3. We have zero tolerance for sexual material including innuendo, jokes, etc. Between our younger members and an increased number of female members (including a team member), we simply don't need to talk about sex - either directly or indirectly.

So please think twice before you post. Thanks


Here's the rules:

1. Attach a thread with a joke that defaces your favorite team's biggest rival (Ex: What's the difference between a smart Cowboys fan and the Loch Ness Monster? People have actually seen the Loch Ness Monster).

2. Try to keep it to 3 entries per person.

3. Keep it within the TCC code of conduct...remember that there are minors that get on here. If an expletive is part of the joke, censor yourself properly according to TCC guidelines.

4. A list of finalists will be submitted to a poll, with TCC members picking the winner.

5. Entries must be in by Sunday, October 12 at 11:59 EDT.

6. Standard text rates may apply.

Oh yeah, here is the payoff. I wanted the prize to be kinda cool, so the winner will receive an autographed 8x10 of none other than the legendary HOFer SLINGIN" SAMMY BAUGH. This comes straight from a collection that I recently obtained and is a very cool piece.

So think of it guys, you can get a cool prize just by bashing your rival. This should be good.

This post has been edited by finestkind: Sep 28 2009, 08:06 PM

[stormfan7]

Good idea...I will throw a couple out there to get everyone started. Since I am from Iowa, I will use jokes against Iowa State.

A kindergarten teacher explains to her class that she is a fan of the Iowa State Cyclones. She asks her students to raise their hands if they are Cyclones fans too. Not really knowing what a Cyclones fan is, but wanting to be liked by their teacher, all the kids put their hands in the air.

However, there was one exception. A little girl towards the front of the class had not raised her hand and doesn't go along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. Because I'm not a Cyclons fan she says.

The teachers, asks, "Well, what are you then?"

"I'm a Iowa Hawkeyes fan," the little girl says with a big smile.

The teacher then asks the girl why she is a Hawkeye fan.

"Well, my mom and dad are Hawkeye fans and so are my brothers and grandpa and grandma, so I'm a Hawkeyes fan too," she responds.

"That's not a good reason to be a fan!" the teacher says. "What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was an idiot. What would you be then?"

The little girl starts to giggle and says, "Then I would be a Cyclones fan!"



--------------------------------

The Iowa State football practice was cancelled today amidst something that happened at Jack Trice Stadium. The Ames County Sheriff Department was called to campus to check out something unusual. As they arrived on the scene inside the stadium, they were talking to some players who had never witnessed it before. After talking to the coaches, the reason they were called was because this white, powdery substance was found near one of the goal posts and nobody had ever seen what it was.

After a thorough investigation, it was discovered that the white substance was in fact, the GOAL-LINE!

[Packers247]

i got one for the bears

What is the penelty for speeding in Illinois. First offense, they give u bears tickets, second offense they make u use them.

[O-StateCowboy]

Gooner bashing time!

What do you have when there is a sellout at Memorial Stadium?
A full set of teeth.

What does an OU student call an OSU student after graduation?
Boss

How many OU football players does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?
The whole team; one to hold the bowl, one to stir, and the rest of the team to peel the M&M's

What do you call 20 Sooners skydiving from a plane?
Skeet

How do you get to OU from Stillwater?
You go West 'til you smell it, then South 'til you step in it...

Why do Sooners eat cereal out of the box?
They are always losing their bowls.

[heathmoel]

LOVE THE HAWKEYE/CYCLONE JOKES

[kidcarcia]

If any of this is inapropriot lmk.

Q: What do they call a drug ring in Baltimore?
A: A huddle


Q: There are 4 Baltimore ravens in a car, who's driving?
A: The police.


Q: Why can't Jamal Lewis be in the Ravens huddle anymore?
A: It's a parole violation for him to associate with known felons.


The Baltimore Ravens have adopted a new "Honor System". "Yes, your Honor", "No, your Honor".


The Ravens had a 9 and 7 season this year. 9 arrests and 7 convictions.


Q: How do the Ravens spend the first week of training camp?
A: Studying the Miranda Rights

[goskins]

Good start...keep 'em coming everyone.

[Chanz0102]

get a new entry in as my last wasn't good.

A Viking fan in a bar leans over to the guy next
to him and says, "Wanna hear a joke about Packer fans?"

The guy next to him replies, "Well before you tell that joke you should know something. I'm 6' tall and 220 pounds and I'm a Packer fan. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2" tall, 240 pounds and he's a Packer fan, and the guy sitting next ot him is 6'5" 280 pounds and he's a packer fan too.

Now, do you still wanna tell that joke?"
The Viking fan says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it three
times."

[beanschat]

Good idea...I will throw a couple out there to get everyone started. Since I am from Iowa, I will use jokes against Iowa State.

A kindergarten teacher explains to her class that she is a fan of the Iowa State Cyclones. She asks her students to raise their hands if they are Cyclones fans too. Not really knowing what a Cyclones fan is, but wanting to be liked by their teacher, all the kids put their hands in the air.

However, there was one exception. A little girl towards the front of the class had not raised her hand and doesn't go along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. Because I'm not a Cyclons fan she says.

The teachers, asks, "Well, what are you then?"

"I'm a Iowa Hawkeyes fan," the little girl says with a big smile.

The teacher then asks the girl why she is a Hawkeye fan.

"Well, my mom and dad are Hawkeye fans and so are my brothers and grandpa and grandma, so I'm a Hawkeyes fan too," she responds.

"That's not a good reason to be a fan!" the teacher says. "What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was an idiot. What would you be then?"

The little girl starts to giggle and says, "Then I would be a Cyclones fan!"
--------------------------------

The Iowa State football practice was cancelled today amidst something that happened at Jack Trice Stadium. The Ames County Sheriff Department was called to campus to check out something unusual. As they arrived on the scene inside the stadium, they were talking to some players who had never witnessed it before. After talking to the coaches, the reason they were called was because this white, powdery substance was found near one of the goal posts and nobody had ever seen what it was.

After a thorough investigation, it was discovered that the white substance was in fact, the GOAL-LINE!

NICE!! COuldn't laugh too much as the lady next to me is a Cyclone fan!! Go Hawks!!

[snkpoct137]

its to bad that i cant make fun of the lions, otherwise i have heard them all

[CardCollector123]

Q. Why doesn't Milwaukee have a professional football team?
A. Because Green Bay would want one too.

-------------------------------------

Q. What do you call a Packers fan with half a brain?
A. Gifted

-------------------------------------

Q. Why do people from Green Bay go to Lambeau when there is a Tornado Warning?
A. Because there are no touchdowns there!

-------------------------------------

Q. Why are the Packers all buying microscopes?
A. It's the only way they can still see their Superbowl chances

-------------------------------------

You know your a Packers fan when the Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.

-------------------------------------

The Green Bay Packers fired six of their coaches. And since the exit was guarded by the team's defense, all six walked out untouched.

-------------------------------------

[road_runner_1964]

Q.  Why doesn't Milwaukee have a professional football team?
A.  Because Green Bay would want one too.

-------------------------------------

Q. What do you call a Packers fan with half a brain?
A. Gifted

-------------------------------------

Q. Why do people from Green Bay go to Lambeau when there is a Tornado Warning?
A. Because there are no touchdowns there!

-------------------------------------

Q. Why are the Packers all buying microscopes?
A. It's the only way they can still see their Superbowl chances

-------------------------------------

You know your a Packers fan when the Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.

-------------------------------------

The Green Bay Packers fired six of their coaches.  And since the exit was guarded by the team's defense, all six walked out untouched.

-------------------------------------

Nice, Lorin....

[jwman92]

Here are some anti-Phillies jokes:

Pedro Martinez was placed on the 15-day disabled list Wednesday shortly after agreeing to a $1 million, one-year contract with the Philadelphia Phillies. Only in America can a guy be hired to do a job that pays over $2700 a day and then be forced to take an immediate two week vacation.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jamie Moyer, the 46-year-old pitcher for the Philadelphia Phillies, recorded his 250th career win yesterday.

He celebrated by taking a victory lap around the field on his Rascal scooter.

Moyer’s post-game celebration continued with a tall glass of Metamucil and the early-bird dinner special at a local Denny’s.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

[19th Century Indiana Jones]

Gisele Bundchen is reportedly pregnant with Tom Brady's child. If Brady can't make it to the delivery, perhaps Bill Belichick will tape it.

[KHarmon]

As a long time Texas Longhorn fan....who else should I bash but the Aggies!!!!

Where was O.J. hiding right before the famous white Bronco chase??
At Texas A&M because that's the last place you'd expect to find a football player.

Did you hear about the skeleton they found in a closet at Texas A&M???
He was the 1963 Hide and Go Seek Champ!!!

Did you hear about the Aggie kamikaze pilot???
He flew 22 missions.

How many Aggies does it take to eat an armadillo???
Two. One to do the eating the other to watch for cars.


Did you hear about the two seat Cessna that crashed in the College Station cemetery?? The Aggie search and rescue team has recovered 300 bodies and they're still digging.

Why did O.J. want his trial moved to College Station???
Everybody has the same DNA.

Why did they install Astro-turf at Kyle field???
To keep the coeds from grazing.

Why can't the Aggies have an ice-hockey team???
The players keep drowning during spring training.

[tj4eck]

How do you make Beaver cookies?
Beat for 3 hours and take out of bowl.

Go Ducks!!

[Tromni]

Philadelphia Eagles Trophy Case:

[urbanmonk]

How do you make Beaver cookies?
Beat for 3 hours and take out of bowl.

Go Ducks!!

[chiefsfan101]

Why do Sooners eat cereal out of the box?
They are always losing their bowls.

haha, that's hilarious! I laughed the loudest on this one!

[dd316]

How do you make Beaver cookies?
Beat for 3 hours and take out of bowl.

Go Ducks!!

Can I vote now?